A First Time Reader

Ben McManus

Thank you Bible for giving me a chance to use the word "Ambivalent!"

I have never read the Bible before. I think this is because I assumed it would be tedious. After the first day of class, I started to suspect that I might actually find it interesting. Then I picked it up, and, as it turns out, the former was correct. The text seems monotonous to me. I struggle to engage myself in the stories, and I’m generally unhappy while I read it. That being said, the moment I put it down, I experience a strange urge to pick it back up.   I catch myself thinking about it at random. After these spells of intrigue, I run back to the text, pick it up, read a few pages, and am reminded that I really don’t enjoy it. And yet, an hour or so later, it creeps back into my head. It’s a vicious cycle.

Femme Fatale from day one.

A reoccurring theme I’ve noticed in the Bible is one that really can’t go unnoticed. It’s one of ignorant men and deceitful women. I like the women more. For the most part, I’m bored while I read the Bible. I’m bored until, usually without warning, a woman decides to do something mischievous, like seriously mischievous. The prime example, of course, is Eve. What a trendsetter! My second favorite, thus far, are Lot’s daughters. They get him drunk, sleep with him, and then in the morning, he conveniently forgets the whole thing. Or at least, that’s what he says. I feel it necessary also to give a shout out to Rebekah, for her actions Genesis 27. Disguising her favorite son Jacob as Esau to trick the father was a clever plan. It actually moved me, sort of close, to the edge of my seat. Upon reflection, I suppose I should be angry with these women for making me eat from the tree of knowledge all of my days, but I can’t help being grateful for the dramatic conflict they incite. Thanks girls! For all the good, or rather bad, work.